PokéJeopardy!
by Delicious Mud Pie
Summary: A not so funny thing like Saturday Night Live's Celebrity Jeopardy parodies. It's lame, and I'm not sure I spelled Massengil right. R&R anyway, k?


If you've ever seen SNL Celebrity Jeopardy, that's the idea I'm ripping off. As of now I don't own SNL, Jeopardy or Pokémon, but after I take over the world this will be no problem for me.  
  


  
PokéJeopardy!  
  


*Advertisements fade out and Alex Trebek is seen at a podium in which he can face either a panel of several monitors or a group of three contestants.*  
  
Alex: Welcome back to Jeopardy! If you're just tuning in, this week's celebrity Jeopardy features some of the cast of the anime Pokémon!  
  
Brock: *interrupts* Wow, that chick on that Massengil advertisement was really hot!  
  
Alex: errr, as I was saying, going into Final Jeopardy Ash has a score of -1,284,309, Jessie has a score of -503, and Brock has a commanding score of 3, which he received from getting partial credit on a question! The Double Jeopardy categories are  
  
*category music begins*  
  
Famous People, This Pen Is, Pokémon, Pokéballs, Clothes and finally, Words. This Pen Is is a category where a pen will be shown, and based on the cap, the contestants will have to answer with the color of the pen. They are all black pens. Are we ready?  
  
*no one answers*  
  
Alex: Good! Let's begin. Brock, since you're in the lead, you get to pick the first category.   
  
Brock: I'll take poke balls for two hundred.  
  
Alex: It's _pokéballs_, Brock. But here's the question. Where do you buy pokéballs?  
  
*Ash buzzes in*  
  
Ash: What is Acorns!  
  
Alex: No!  
  
*Jessie buzzes in*  
  
Jessie: What is you don't buy them, you steal them!  
  
Alex: Judges? Okay, two points.   
  
*Jessie cheers, then starts filing her nails.*  
  
Alex: Next category, Jessie?  
  
Jessie: *deliberates* How about this penis for a thousand?  
  
Alex: *begins to choke* That's _this pen is_, Jessie, not this penis.   
  
*picture of a black ballpoint pen is on screen.*  
  
Alex: what color is this pen?  
  
*Brock rings in*  
  
Brock: Dark!  
  
Alex: that's true, but dark is not a color. *Judges mumble* Okay, two points for an almost correct answer. Pick a category, Brock.  
  
Brock: *concentrating* I'll take this penis for 800.  
  
Alex: It's _THIS PEN IS!  
  
_*A black fountain pen with leaky ink shows up on screen, and Ash buzzes in.*  
  
Ash: um, shimatta! I forgot my answer!  
  
*Ash gets more negative points, and Jessie rings in*  
  
Jessie: Leaky!  
  
*Jessie gets more negative points, and Brock rings in.*  
  
Brock: Gold!  
  
Alex: well, the tip is gold. Judges? Partial credit. You are now up to seven dollars.  
  
Jessie: Wait! Why did you take his stupid answer and not mine?  
  
Alex: someone has to go on to final Jeopardy. Brock, pick a category.  
  
Brock: hmm. How about Pokémon for 200?  
  
Alex: All right. Name a pokémon!  
  
*Ash rings in*  
  
Ash: Monkey!  
  
Alex: No!  
  
*Jessie rings in*  
  
Jessie: Spam!  
  
Alex: No!  
  
*Brock rings in*  
  
Brock: Who is Nurse Joy!  
  
Alex: Well, since Nurse Joy heals pokémon, one point!  
  
*Brock cheers to himself*  
  
Alex: Brock, choose the category again!  
  
Brock: *ponders, with his hand on his chin* How about Famous People for a thousand?  
  
Alex: All right, here's the question. Who invented the light bulb?  
  
*Jessie rings in*  
  
Jessie: The Animaniacs! I love that show!  
  
Alex: Not a chance in hell!  
  
*Ash rings in*  
  
Ash: I know! I know! Who is Professor Oak! He's so old, he had to have invented the light bulb!  
  
*The audience sniggers. Oak, watching from home, turns his hearing aid up because he could have sworn he heard his name on the boob tube. Ash gets a negative sign next to an infinity on his scoreboard.*  
  
*Brock rings in*  
  
Brock: Who is Benjamin Franklin!  
  
Alex: Close enough, he discovered electricity! You now have a score of nine!  
  
*Brock flexes his muscles.*   
  
Brock: Can I see some more of those feminine product commercials now? But not the Depends ones. The chicks in that are too old. Not that there's anything wrong with old babes, it's just I prefer the younger ones.  
  
Alex: um, no. Just pick a category.  
  
Brock: How about words, for four hundred.  
  
Alex: Fair enough. Okay, repeat after me.   
  
*Jessie rings in*  
  
Jessie: Where?  
  
*Alex smacks his head and Jessie also gets an infinity sign with a negative before it, then Ash rings in.*  
  
Ash: Spot, run!  
  
Alex: *perks up* He said run! It was after spot, but oh well!   
  
*Ash goes back to -1,000,000.*  
  
*Brock rings in*  
  
Alex: too late, Brock.  
  
Brock: Oh, well, can I see that box of Massengil from your sponsors?  
  
Alex: No! Ash, pick a topic.  
  
Ash: Err, how about clothes for--  
  
Alex: One million! Get this right and you're back on the scoreboard!  
  
Ash: Yay!  
  
Alex: Okay, the question is, what kind of clothing goes on your head?  
  
*Jessie rings in*  
  
Jessie: Hair spray!  
  
Alex: Close enough!  
  
*Jessie goes back up to 0*  
  
Ash: No way! I was gonna say hat!  
  
*Alex facevaults*  
  
Alex: Pick a category, Jessie.  
  
Jessie: I pick this penis for 400!  
  
Alex: whatever.   
  
*a picture of a big, oversized pen with the word black' on it appears.*  
  
*Brock rings in*  
  
Brock: What is the beautiful color of the Massengil chick's pupils!  
  
Alex: And--what color would that be?  
  
Brock: *angry* the same color as the pen!  
  
Alex: a'ight, I'll round your score up to ten.  
  
*Brock does a victory dance. A chime sounds in the background.*  
  
Alex: you know what that means folks! Time for Final Jeopardy! The category will be, your name! And since everyone has a crappy score, we'll let them all participate!  
  
*Everyone writes in their wagers, then there is a commercial break.*  
  
Alex: We're back with double Jeopardy! The question is: Just write your name in the damn box! Good luck!  
  
*Jeopardy music ensues, and everyone scribbles their answers. When they all have stopped, the music stops and Alex asks them for their answers one by one.*  
  
Alex: All right, Ash, since you're in third place, you get to go first. What was your response?  
  
*The blue screen comes up, and the words I love you, Misty! are scribbled on it.*  
  
Alex: Why did you write that?  
  
Ash: Because, Misty is my girlfriend, and she said that if I didn't know the answer, that that's what I had to write.  
  
Alex: You don't know how to spell your own name?  
  
Ash: That's what the question was?  
  
Alex: Never mind. Let's see your wager.  
  
*A big heart is drawn in the wager place.*  
  
Alex: Um, nice. That leaves you with -1,000,000. Jessie, you were in second place, so what did you put?  
  
*Jessie' screen pops up, and all there is is a bunch of crescent shaped spots from where her fingernail clippings landed and the words yo momma' written in huge capital letters.*  
  
Alex: Yo momma?  
  
Jessie: You talkin' smack bout my momma?  
  
Alex: Err, no. Let's see her wager.  
  
*In the wager spot there is a drawing of Cassidy with a tree up her butt.*  
  
Alex: And that leaves you with zero. Last but not least, let's see Brock's.  
  
*Brock's screen comes up, and there's a picture of two stick figures kissing. Everyone knows that it's him and the Massengil chick, because the guy stick figure has squinty eyes and spiky hair.*  
  
Alex: Couldn't you have just written your name? I can't give you partial credit for this one.  
  
Brock: I can't help it. I'm in love.  
  
Alex: *sighs* Okay. Let's see your wager.  
  
*The wager part becomes uncovered, but all there is is a puddle of drool.*  
  
Alex: Well Brock, that makes you our winner! Congratulations, you've won ten dollars!  
  
Brock starts to cheer as the announcer comes back on.  
  
Announcer: Our second place winner today will be taking a five day, four night trip to Cancun Mexico with a friend! They'll stay at the most luxurious five star hotel in the country (of Mexico) with jacuzzi, swimming pool, and all the food he can eat! Our third place winner today will receive a lifetime supply of Massengil! good night!  
  
*The credits come on and the contestants can be seen standing around together. James runs out from the audience and begins to smother Jessie with kisses while thinking about the trip, and Misty smacks Ash over the head with her mallet. Brock cries, wishing that he had lost and gotten the Massengil.*


End file.
